In Honor of My Little Boy

A week ago today, the saddest thing that has ever happened to me occurred. My cat Salvador died of a heart attack. He meant more to me than anyone could ever know. I strongly disliked cats most of my life, was very much a dog person. My friend Suzy came to me and said she had a cat that she could not take to her next apt. and since he was a little older, if she brought him to a shelter, he'd probably be euthanized. I was living alone in a 5 bedroom house at the time because all of my roommates had gone home for the summer. I was lonely and felt horrible about his potential destiny. I went to her place to check him out and I fell in love. He looked at me in the eyes and I knew right there, 9 years ago. (I have a book where I recorded my first memories of him, and I swear this is all in there!!)
I brought him, and didn't see him for 3 days. He was very scared and hid under my bed. I didn't know what I was doing and felt overwhelmed. Finally when he did come out, he demolished a lot of my belongings. I had a tapestry on the wall that I got at the Salvador Dali museum, ripped to shreds. TV, knocked over and broken. Lamp, stereo, all broken by his hyper antics. I was very stressed, I never had a dog that acted like this. My only option was to give him lots of love and compassion.
He scratched me any time I wanted to pick him up, but I was determined.
A couple of months later we moved in with my friend Nina. She was a cat lover and then I knew there was hope. She brought a new cat Mia in to live with us, and they were adorable. Salvador took care of her, cleaned her, cuddled her and played with her. He was so happy. The four of us lived together for 2 years. In the meantime, I started dating Templeton. He and Sal got along great. Temp moved to California, and Sal was really what helped me get thru that LONG year. Sal was so intuitive, he knew when to take care of me when I was sad, and listened unconditionally to me.
I missed Templeton so much that I moved to CA to be with him. Sal flew separately, but we all ended up there together. It's funny to say that Sal lived in Beverly Hills, Hollywood and Atwater Village in Los Angeles, but he did! We first lived with my friend Kristin and her cat Simon. They didn't get along, he never had a relationship with another cat like he did with Mia. Eventually Temp and I moved in together with Sal, and that's where they really bonded. Templeton really became Sal's father, and it was really sweet.
We moved back to Norfolk after 1 1/2 years and really settled in together. Sal loved to play with Temp, watch skate videos together. When Sal's heart disease progressed, he needed to take pills every day. Over time, that became Temp's job after I had broken my fingers. It was so amazing because Temp literally had to put the pills in his throat, very uncomfortable for both of them, but Sal always gave Temp a little head bump to show he understood and still loved Templeton.
Anytime I was sick, sad, stressed, Sal was always there for me. He showed great concern for me and my feelings. If I couldn't sleep at night, I found Sal to relax me. We watched General Hospital together everyday, he was my therapy after work after a hard day. Sal would always wait until Temp and I settled in for the night, and he would jump on the bed with such joy and lay between us so he could get pet. Templeton and I could never resist saying how cute Sal was, or how much we loved him every SINGLE DAY. We can genuinely say we never took him for granted. The way Sal would run up the steps, he would try to race us. The way he'd be waiting at the door for us when we came home. He'd curl up in the box from a board game while we played at the dining room table. When we would read a magazine, he'd make sure to come up and sit on the magazine so we'd pet him instead. When I was on the computer, he'd lay at my feet anxiously waiting for me. Sal was very thirsty as his heart disease progressed, so I'd treat him to drips from the faucet and give him ice cubes multiple times a day.
What I miss is Sal's company. I miss our routines. Templeton and I made our decisions throughout the day based around him. Time to go to bed? Find Sal, give him his pills. Time to wake up? Where's Sal, he needs an ice cube.
There was a point in my life where I know that I felt if anything had happened to Sal, I couldn't imagine my life without him. I couldn't imagine moving forward. He was everything to me. Fortunately, I fell in love with Templeton who gave me more motivation to keep going.  I do feel lost without Salvador. Especially not having work to go to. I look around and hope he comes around the corner.
Most people can say when someone dies: "at least he's in a better place", or "he's not struggling anymore", " it was his time". None of those ring true with Sal. His better place was here. He was too young, he wasn't suffering. We weren't ready. I am grateful he did not suffer, because a lot of cats in his condition start struggling with breath and energy. But I wanted him to be with us longer. I feel an emptiness inside of me, I am healing, but I will always miss my baby boy. My Salvador.

This video of me and Sal was from about 4 years ago. I feel like it just gives a peep into our life together and the bond we had.

This is a slide show of some of my favorite pics of Sal. If you scroll over any of them, it gives a little caption.